Written by: Simon Bell
Hits: 901
Men Are Just Happier People ...
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is
just another snack. You can be President. You can never get pregnant. You
can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Heck, you can wear NO shirt to a
water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have
to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same
work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: £5000.00. Tux rental:
£100.00. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by your friends, but
practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One
mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know
stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your
underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to
see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts
for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You
can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your hips. One
wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts
no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do
Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier
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